All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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