If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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