So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
