i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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