my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I just want nice things and good sex
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
