Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
