Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
So many bounce houses so little time
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
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