I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
she looked like the before picture.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
