He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
