Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
