is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
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