You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
