the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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