i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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