weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
