the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
