Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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