her vagine was all disorganized.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
