Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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