You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I am one with the molecules
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
