ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I am available for nakedness
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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