So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
