Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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