Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
