Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
My ass is underappreciated
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Randomize
