I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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