I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
She is in my trunk
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
