what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
