Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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