...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
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