Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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