i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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