so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
