there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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