Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
