She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
