Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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