I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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