I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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