i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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