we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
