We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
