it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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