i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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