Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
