I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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