I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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