I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
