That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
