everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
