i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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