im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
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