my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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