i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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