I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
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