i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I am spending my child support on dildos
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize