That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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