We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
